‘A social group of parents, children and sometimes grandparents, uncles, aunts and others who are related’ or ‘a group of people who care about each other because they have a close relationship or shared interests’. These are two examples of the definitions of the word ‘family’ according to Cambridge Dictionary.
One group is blood related and the other group is not. You are born in a family and you have to deal with your relatives, whether you like them or not. You have to find a way to accept them. They are still your family and will always remain. The other group is chosen. You meet people in your life and some will become close like family or even more. These relationships are based on mutual interests or a strong connection. Animals can also be a part of your family.
Bonding time
All humans need these bonding connections. Social connections have a positive influence on our health and can make us happy. In the past, we couldn’t survive without groups. We all needed social groups to stay alive. In modern life, everything has become digital. We don’t meet that often anymore, as we can send each other photos and texts. We also don’t need others anymore to survive. We can just go to the supermarket around the corner and don’t have to gather berries in a group anymore. But worldwide loneliness is increasing, especially during and after the pandemic. We still need each other to stay healthy and to make a change in the world. Climate change, for example, is a world problem. We all need to work together to solve this.
Connections can improve our health and overall well-being. It is all about having supportive relationships in your life. Family and friends who listen to you, who accept you for who you are, who support you and don’t judge you. Those are the people who make you feel stronger and more connected when you spend time with them. They give you energy and make you feel loved.
Focus on the right people
Of course there are also people in your life who are draining you. That aunt who is always commenting on you or the cousin who thinks you are a freak. You can’t choose your blood related family. You have to accept them how they are and find a way to deal with them. It’s important that you stay yourself and don’t let them make you feel bad. As you also know, when people are judging like that, there is something wrong with them and not with you. Try to keep your distance, don’t listen to their comments and connect with the relatives who are nice to you. Don’t let negativity get stronger than positivity. Focus on the people who you like to be with.
But it is not always easy to make time to see your family and friends. As everyone is always ‘busy with being busy’. In modern life everyone is too busy. We have so many choices and possibilities that we didn’t have in the past. But the down side of this is that we forget to live in the moment. We rush from this task to the other one and go from appointment to appointment. We lose focus on the things that are important, like family. Hereby I would like to share eleven tips how to strengthen your family connections:
#1 Make family WhatsApp groups. Our digital devices have made our lives much easier. We can use this opportunity to connect more. The groups we have in our life, we can also make them digital. So it’s easier to make appointments and to send some photos.
#2 Arrange video meetings. Is it the birthday of your mother? Arrange a surprise call with relatives. It’s a good way to see each other more often, even when it’s digital. Especially when you have relatives who are living in different countries, it’s an easy way to connect.
#3 Give an experience as a gift. Kids mostly like to receive a gift. As a working adult, you can buy those gifts for yourself. As everyone is always busy, the best gift you can give is an experience. Quality time together. A walk on the beach, a lunch with a group of friends, having tea at a cat cafe or going to an escape room with friends.
#4 Arrange a family brunch. It doesn’t have to be a birthday, wedding or funeral to meet your family. Just arrange a simple family brunch so everyone can meet each other again. Try to arrange this a few times a year, so people who can’t come this time, can come another time.
#5 Get physical. Give your uncle that you haven’t seen for a while a real hug when you meet. Don’t just be polite, but feel the connection and bond between you and him. It only strengthens your connection.
#6 Be open and honest. Is there something that still bothers you when you have met your family? Are you concerned about what someone said or is there something you would like to say? Send a message and be honest. Everyone likes to receive positive attention and a sweet message. It’s up to them what they want to do with it, but at least you have tried your best.
#7 Tell them that you love them. When you feel like saying it, just say it. Don’t think too much. And if you don’t feel comfortable saying it with other people around, send a message. You never know how life goes and when it’s the last time you can say these important words to that person.
#8 Have a call or video call. Make a list of people you would like to call and just schedule it and do it. Don’t postpone it, but just plan it.
#9 Make some time to play extra with your dog or cat. You know playing with your pet is really bonding time? It’s good for your relationship with your pet. You both will be happy with the extra time.
#10 Write some handwritten notes. Write something sweet to your family or friends and put the note in their pocket or bag. It will give them a smile and they feel loved.
#11 Take time to connect with yourself. If you take good care of yourself, you can be better to the others around you. So take that walk by yourself, go to the gym, meditate and read a book.
Jane Regina Sauer 